In a town where jealousy, hate and betrayal loomed, there lived a boy and a girl. The girl’s small and distant family payed no attention to her obvious liking of this boy. She was a quiet girl, and often kept matters to herself. Except, when it came to the boy. As oblivious as he seemed in her mind, he was her everything. The way he laughed at her jokes, the way he’d tilt his head gently to the side, honey coloured curls falling just slightly over his eyes, and asked her if she was okay.

There are so many times the girl had said yes. As if everything was fine. However, nearly everytime he asked, her true and personal answer was no. She couldn’t tell anybody- not even him, the only one she’d ever had.

Everytime he walked away from her or talked to another girl, she felt deep rejection inside. As if he didn’t care at all. She had made it through many personal obstacles, and she was convinced she couldn’t handle letting this boy control her ways.

After all, he was her everything. Even as I write this, I don’t believe anyone else had ever cared so deeply for this girl, as the boy - in her mind - once had.

A particular song of theirs was called 44. Caliber Love Letter by Alexisonfire. At the time, it seemed coincidental that the title of the song was so perfect.

She had spent the past four days writing drafts of the letter she wanted the boy to have. It was probably the hardest thing she had ever done. If there were a million words she could write about her love for the boy- she would have. Instead, she settled on one sentence.

The girl had always been nervous around her stepfather’s 44.Caliber in the basement. This time, it would be the only thing that would hurt her. Bringing the gun up the creaking stairs, she found it impossible not to choke on tears that were streaming down her face at the time.

Stepping out of life and into the bedroom where she would end it all, she had never felt so scared and prepared at the same time. Before she knew it, the clock had struck past her last minute. With a piece of paper placed lightly on her chest, she inhaled one last time, as she brought the 44. Caliber up to her head. It took one quick movement of her index finger against the trigger and everything went silent one last time.

The note was delivered to the boy a mere two days after the girl’s suicide. He gripped the paper in his tear soaked hands and moved his fingers over the calligraphy that had spelled his name. He unfolded the paper, hesitantly. What it said inside was a total mystery at this point.

One last fold, and the words on the page were visible. The clear blue eyes the girl had once loved, were now bloodshot and glistening with tears. His pupils moved over each word in sharp movements like lightning strikes.

The page displayed four words, all of which, he had dreaded hearing. His fist closed tightly, crinkling the delicate page inside. Those four words repeated in his mind.

"I died for you." were the girl’s last words
**

More than the girl probably could ever have known, the boy loved her. Ever since the fateful day at age five when they had met, he had felt a secret bond between them. As they grew older, their special friendship had grown into something they both only felt in their hearts. Love.

Because the topic remained undiscussed between them, the girl- as he now realised - had been miserable. There were no words to describe how the guilt took over him. Him too, had lead an unhappy life, since the deaths of people in his family. Secretly, he had as well felt very lost in life. All the friends he had ever thought he had, had left him for others because he had told them about how he felt for the girl.

The light in his bedroom was dim, where he was writing. Letters to everyone. The closely-knit family he had left, and most importantly, for the girl. Even if she could no longer read the note, he walked by the cemetary the next morning, and placed the note on a fresh pile of dirt, burying the girl he would always love, beneath. A plaque bearing the girl’s beautiful name rested on the dirt.

The sight was difficult to see, so he made his way back home. The closet door in his room was open, and the black buckled belt beside it appeared tempting in his newly traumatized mind. Without another place, he put the letters to his family on his bed.

Shutting the closet door and everything in his life with it, he dangled hung in his closet afterwards, hoping to start this whole mess over
**

The boy’s much loved mother stood at the girl’s grave. Her son was buried next to her, as requested, beneath five feet of dirt. The wind ruffled her chestnut coloured hair, as she unfolded the boy’s note to the girl. The folds were perfectly made. He had always been a perfectionist, she thought.

As the page unfolded in her violently shaking hands, the reason became unveiled, for the happening of this tragic event.

"If I could do it all over, I would. Which is why I died for you."

Suddenly, flashes of her son’s life replayed in her head. His birth, first day of school, first birthday.. It all came back, and for the first time, she felt as if she had taken those precious moments for granted, as if she could have seen this all coming.

The boy was her only child, and for as long as she could remember, a dreadful secret remained untold. Ever since the boy had been born, his mother had been abused physically, emotionally and verbally by his father, who, for the past while had seemed uncaring about the boy and his whereabouts.

His mother’s pretty face was now a wreck. Her lip was split open and cuts and scratches scattered her face after being beaten, and pushed onto the floor by her husband. As well, her cheeks were moistened as tears rolled from her eyes.

The next morning, she took her pills. Antidepressants, pain killers, the list goes on.

Except this time, she took more then usual.

She overdosed, while looking for a different kind of relief than she had before.